Are you too strict? 4 Parenting styles and their outcomes on kids
There are differences in parenting styles. Being consistent and having rules does not mean you are a tyrant and giving your child everything you've never had or allowing them to get away with misbehavior does not necessarily mean that they will see you as the “best parent” in the world.
It is difficult to say that one parenting style will be the absolute best for your child, since all children are different. However, research has made some clear distinctions on different parenting styles and their implications and outcomes on children.
To learn more, see the 4 different parenting styles below. From all four the one that promises the best child outcome and best relationship between child and parent is the authoritative style.
Authoritarian: “Children are meant to be seen and not heard-Where’s my chancleta (or belt)”
- Expects unquestioned obedience
- Low responsiveness to child’s needs
- Mistakes are punished harshly
- Strict Rules
- Lower academic performance
- Lower self-Acceptance
- Poor social skills
- Maladaptive coping skills
- May model harsh punishment onto others
Authoritative: “I know you really wanted that, but when I say “no” it’s “no”
- Set limits and enforce standards
- Responsiveness and nurturing
- High expectations
- Clear rules
- High academic performance
- Higher self-esteem and self-discipline
- More open to speak with parents about issues and mistakes
- Adequate coping skills
Permissive: “What rules? We are best friends”
- Emotionally Warm
- Reluctant to enforce rules
- Few to no rules
- Impulsive behavior
- Poor social skills
- Problematic relationship (does not know how to establish boundaries with others)
- Difficulties accepting blame or taking responsibility for actions
Uninvolved Negligent: "At your age I took care of myself, you can do the same”
- Permissive parent
- Lack warmth
- No Rules
- May punish harshly
- Emotionally detached
- Low self-esteem and self-concept
- Lack coping skills
- Difficulty trusting and socializing with others
If you feel like you would like to learn how to adopt a better parent style with your child, remember that we are never too old or too wise to LEARN!
At CMNB we offer parenting coaching sessions based on Applied Behavior Analysis that can teach you important skills to not only learn how to put boundaries and appropriate limits but also develop and maintain a healthy relationship with your child.
Reference: Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. The Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95.