Are you too strict? 4 Parenting styles and their outcomes on kids

Are you too strict? 4 Parenting styles and their outcomes on kids

There are differences in parenting styles. Being consistent and having rules does not mean you are a tyrant and giving your child everything you've never had or allowing them to get away with misbehavior does not necessarily mean that they will see you as the “best parent” in the world.

It is difficult to say that one parenting style will be the absolute best for your child, since all children are different. However, research has made some clear distinctions on different parenting styles and their implications and outcomes on children.

To learn more, see the 4 different parenting styles below. From all four the one that promises the best child outcome and best relationship between child and parent is the authoritative style.

Authoritarian: “Children are meant to be seen and not heard-Where’s my chancleta (or belt)”

Style:

  • Expects unquestioned obedience
  • Low responsiveness to child’s needs
  • Mistakes are punished harshly
  • Strict Rules

Child outcome:

  • Lower academic performance
  • Lower self-Acceptance
  • Poor social skills
  • Maladaptive coping skills
  • May model harsh punishment onto others

Authoritative: “I know you really wanted that, but when I say “no” it’s “no”

Style:

  • Set limits and enforce standards
  • Responsiveness and nurturing
  • High expectations
  • Clear rules

Child outcome:

  • High academic performance
  • Higher self-esteem and self-discipline
  • More open to speak with parents about issues and mistakes
  • Adequate coping skills

Permissive: “What rules? We are best friends”

Style:

  • Emotionally Warm
  • Reluctant to enforce rules
  • Few to no rules
  • Indulgent

Child outcome:

  • Impulsive behavior
  • Egocentric
  • Poor social skills
  • Problematic relationship (does not know how to establish boundaries with others)
  • Difficulties accepting blame or taking responsibility for actions

Uninvolved Negligent: "At your age I took care of myself, you can do the same”

Style:

  • Permissive parent
  • Lack warmth
  • No Rules
  • Indifferent
  • May punish harshly

Child outcome:

  • Emotionally detached
  • Low self-esteem and self-concept
  • Lack coping skills
  • Difficulty trusting and socializing with others

If you feel like you would like to learn how to adopt a better parent style with your child, remember that we are never too old or too wise to LEARN!

At CMNB we offer parenting coaching sessions based on Applied Behavior Analysis that can teach you important skills to not only learn how to put boundaries and appropriate limits but also develop and maintain a healthy relationship with your child.

common parenting styles and their implications

Reference: Baumrind, D. (1991). The influence of parenting style on adolescent competence and substance use. The Journal of Early Adolescence, 11(1), 56-95.